Nine different dating apps at once. Each with a different version of myself, each with the same frustrating experiences. Fake profiles, outdated designs, features nobody needs and the important ones missing. After years as a web developer building communities for various niches, I wanted to create a real dating app alternative. One question wouldn't leave me alone: Why do we accept this?
SparkChambers is my answer. A kinky dating platform that I first wanted to build for myself, then for the people I met in this space. Real friends. Real frustrations. And a real desire for something better.
In this interview, I share the story of how personal frustration became a platform, and why the dating app industry desperately needs a fresh start.
The Frustration: Why I Had to Build a Dating App Alternative
What frustrated you most about existing dating platforms?
Honestly: almost everything. But if I had to narrow it down to one point, it's the disrespect toward users. The platforms that exist treat adults like second-class products.
The design looks like it's from the early 2000s. The UX is a disaster. Security features are inadequate or don't exist at all. And then operators wonder why people are frustrated?
As a developer, I see daily how other industries design their products. Banking apps, fitness trackers, even recipe sites have better interfaces than most adult dating platforms. That's not a coincidence. It's a lack of respect.
Studies show that 79% of Gen Z and Millennials suffer from dating app burnout. 58% say apps bring more frustration than fulfillment. Tinder lost over 14% of US downloads between 2024 and 2025. These numbers speak clearly.
Why do you think adult platforms look so different from the rest of the internet?
There's this unspoken assumption in the tech industry that people who are open about their sexuality don't have high standards. That they're satisfied with anything as long as it somehow works.
That's not true. The people I've met in the community are often highly educated, have good jobs, travel, have standards. They deserve a platform that reflects those standards.
The People Who Inspired Me
You're active in the swinger and casual dating scene yourself. How has that influenced your view of the product?
It changed everything. I'm not building SparkChambers as an outsider who analyzed a market. I'm building it as someone who has experienced every frustration point firsthand.
But more importantly: I've met many wonderful people in the online swinger and casual dating world. Real friendships have formed. People I can talk to about anything. Who inspire me. Who have enriched my life.
And exactly these people were the most important reason to build SparkChambers.
Tell me more. What happens when new people come to existing platforms?
They're completely overwhelmed. I've seen it again and again. Someone decides to explore this space, whether alone or as a couple, and then they land on these outdated sites.
Outdated interfaces that look like spam sites. Fake profiles everywhere. No proper verification. Aggressive messages from day one. Zero guidance for newcomers.
They come in and are simply overwhelmed. Many give up before they even start. And that's tragic because I know what they're missing. The real connections, the friendships, the enrichment that this community can offer.
The Market Gap: Why We Need a Kink-Friendly Dating App
Everyone I talked to immediately offered their help. Why is that?
Because they feel the gap themselves. Every day. Everyone in this space knows there should be something better. But nobody builds it.
When I started talking about SparkChambers, the reaction was overwhelming. Not "Oh, interesting," but "Finally! How can I help?" People offered me their time, their expertise, their feedback. They connected me with others.
That doesn't happen with a normal startup. That happens when a community has been waiting for something for years and finally someone says: "I'm building it."
What's specifically missing in the adult dating market?
The gap was clear: we needed a kink-friendly dating app that brings together a sex-positive community without censoring them. A real alternative to Tinder and other mainstream platforms that allows people to live their sexuality openly.
A kinky dating platform that's truly designed for couples, not just "somehow also works" for them.
A platform with real focus on design and user experience. Not just functional, but beautiful. Pleasant to use. A platform where you don't feel like hiding, but like being proud.
A platform with real verification. Not just a photo that some bot approves, but real people checking real profiles.
A platform built by someone who understands the community. Not by an investor group that discovered an "interesting market."
Why You're Building SparkChambers: A Dating Platform Founder's Story
You've built apps for various niches, from crypto gaming to local communities. How did you end up in dating?
The core of my work has always been community building. Whether gamers, crypto enthusiasts, or local groups, it's about bringing people together. Giving them a space where they can be themselves.
Dating is really just a continuation of that. Just with higher stakes and more emotions. And with an industry that has been letting its users down for years.
What was the moment when you thought: "I have to do this myself"?
There wasn't one moment. It was an accumulation. Every time a friend was frustrated. Every time I was annoyed. Every time I thought: "I could do this better."
At some point, the thought became a plan. And the plan became code.
What makes SparkChambers technically different?
I come from web development. I know how to build scalable, secure, modern applications. SparkChambers uses a current tech stack, Rails 8, Hotwire for real real-time experiences, a thoughtful security concept.
But technology is just the foundation. What really makes SparkChambers different are the thoughtful features:
Real couple profiles, not two individual accounts somehow linked together, but a shared profile with individual controls for both partners.
A kink spectrum system in our Kink Encyclopedia, where you don't just say "I like X," but indicate whether you're curious, beginner, experienced, or expert.
Two separate inboxes for new requests and accepted conversations. You decide who can reach you.
The ability to search specifically for matching partners with filters that actually make sense.
These aren't revolutionary ideas. It's common sense applied to a product that shows respect to its users.
The Challenge: Building Community for a Dating App Alternative
Community building is hard. How do you deal with that?
Honestly? Day by day. There's no shortcut in community building. You can't just pump in marketing money and hope real connections emerge.
What motivates me is knowing that the community itself is crying out for this. They want this platform. They're ready to support it. That's worth more than any marketing budget.
What's been the biggest challenge so far?
The balance between "launch quickly" and "do it right." Every startup guide tells you to start with an MVP. But if your MVP delivers a bad experience, why should users give you a second chance?
I decided to build longer and deliver the quality the community deserves from the start. That's the harder path. But the right one.
Why do you do it anyway?
Because I see what's possible. The friendships I've made in this space. The enrichment this community has brought to my life. I want others to experience that too without having to fight through frustrating platforms.
And because I can. I have the technical skills. I understand the community. I know what's needed. Wouldn't it be a waste not to use that?
What Makes This Dating App Alternative Different: SparkChambers in Detail
How do you define "sex-positive" and why is it important?
Sex-positive doesn't mean "anything goes." It means treating sexuality as a normal, healthy part of human life. Without shame. Without judgment. With respect for boundaries and safety and consent.
Too many platforms are either prudish, where sexuality is hidden or taboo, or too exploitative, where it's just about quick clicks.
SparkChambers wants to be the middle ground. A platform where you can talk openly about your desires without being judged, and at the same time one that prioritizes safety and respect.
Why is good design important for a dating platform?
Design is more than aesthetics. It's communication. When a platform looks like spam, it sends a message: "We don't respect you enough to put effort into the design."
SparkChambers uses a dark premium design with warm accents. Not because dark is "edgy," but because it's easier on the eyes when you're scrolling on the couch in the evening. Because it's discreet. Because it exudes quality.
Every detail has been thought through. The typography. The color palette. The animations. Because our users aren't second-class products.
The Vision: More Than Just Another Dating Platform
Do you use SparkChambers yourself?
Of course. I don't build anything I wouldn't use myself. That's the advantage when the founder is part of the community, I'm both developer and user. Every frustration point I fix makes my own experience better.
Where do you see SparkChambers in five years?
As the first choice for couples and individuals in the DACH region who want more than mainstream dating. A vibrant community with real connections, regular events, and a culture of mutual respect.
I don't see SparkChambers as just a "dating service." It's the beginning of a movement, learn more about our mission. Proof that adult platforms can be just as high-quality as any other product.
What advice would you give other founders in this space?
Only build something you would use yourself. The adult industry is full of products built by people who don't understand their target audience, or worse, secretly despise them.
If you're not part of the community, you'll never truly understand what it needs. And the community will notice.
The Call: Join the Sex-Positive Community
SparkChambers is more than a platform. It's an invitation.
To everyone frustrated with existing options. To all couples who finally want a platform built for them. To everyone who is open about their sexuality and doesn't want to compromise on quality and safety.
We're building something that hasn't existed before. And we're building it together with the community.
Community building is hard. But when the community itself says: "We need this," then it's worth the effort.
If you're also frustrated with dating apps that don't value your authenticity, then SparkChambers is the dating app alternative you've been waiting for. We're building a sex-positive community based on real connections, not algorithms that turn you into a product.
Rapid-Fire Questions
Tinder or Bumble?
Neither. Both are symptoms of the problem, not the solution.
Worst dating app experience?
Wrote with someone for three months who turned out to be fake. The platform's verification? A joke.
One word for SparkChambers?
Overdue.
What do your friends from the scene say about the project?
"Finally." And then: "How can I help?"
Would you describe SparkChambers as a dating app alternative to mainstream platforms?
Absolutely. We're an alternative for people who are frustrated with swipe culture and seeking authentic connections.
What makes SparkChambers special as a dating platform for sex-positive people?
We understand that sexuality is diverse. Our platform doesn't censor, but creates a safe space for open communication.
Is SparkChambers a kink-friendly dating app or more of a social network?
Both. We're a dating platform that also offers community features so people with similar interests can connect.
Ready to be part of something new? Create your profile on SparkChambers and experience the difference.
This is an interview from the series "The People Behind SparkChambers." SparkChambers is a kinky dating platform built by community members for community members.
