You matched with someone new on a platform. The conversation is getting flirty. But you're sitting on the couch while your partner watches TV next to you. Is this okay? Should you say something?
If you haven't had that conversation yet, you're about to find out the hard way. Sexting texts in open relationships isn't just about what you say to your new match. It's about what you've already said to your partner.
The Conversation Before Your First Sexting Texts
Before you start typing anything spicy, you and your partner need clarity about how to discuss open relationships. Not while you're in bed. Before that, at the kitchen table.
Three questions to sort out first:
- Can I sext while we're together?
- Do you want to know about my messages, or would you rather not?
- Are there pet names or phrases that belong only to us?
Most people sext. A study of over 2,800 young adults found that 81% of participants engage in sexting—it's normative sexual behavior. But in open relationships, you're not just sexting. You're meta-sexting: communicating with your partner about sexting with someone else. Establishing clear boundaries before sending sexting texts to others protects your primary relationship while allowing freedom to explore.
15 Sexting Messages for Different Situations
Whether you're exploring erotic text conversations for the first time or looking for fresh sexting ideas, these examples show how to communicate clearly.
After the first meetup:
- "Still thinking about last night. When can I see you again?"
- "You've been stuck in my head all day. And other places."
Building anticipation:
- "My partner and I were just talking about you. We're both curious."
- "I'm sitting in a meeting and can't focus. Your fault."
When you know each other better:
- "I'd really like your hands on me right now."
- "Tell me what you'd want to do next time we meet."
For couples texting together:
- "We're lying here thinking about you two. Up for a video call?"
- "Partner X says you should know we're both thinking about last night."
If you and your partner enjoy connecting with others together, couple profiles on SparkChambers make it easy to show you're a team from the start.
What If Jealousy Shows Up?
Even in consensually open relationships, jealousy can surface. That's normal. Research shows that couples in open relationships often communicate better about sex than monogamous couples do, not because they're immune to jealousy, but because they practice talking through it. As relationship expert Moshe Ratson explains, jealousy isn't the problem itself—it's a signal for unmet needs that can be transformed into intimacy through open communication.
When your partner says, "I noticed those messages are bothering me," that's not a crisis. It's data. Take a break from sending sexting texts to others and check in about what's changed.
Don't Forget Safety
- No faces in photos you're not willing to lose
- Use encrypted apps like Signal for privacy protection
- Consent applies to screenshots too
- Discuss sexting ideas with your partner before trying them with others
Sexting messages in open relationships can strengthen your connection when done right. These sexting tips help you navigate boundaries while keeping the spark alive. Following safe dating practices protects your privacy, identity, and emotional wellbeing when exploring connections on any platform.
The key isn't perfect messages. It's the conversation you have before them.
Sources
- Sexting in Young Adults: A Normative Sexual Behavior - Study of 2,828 young adults showing 81% engage in sexting and recommending sexual education focus on consent and safe practices
- Building a Successful Open Relationship - Psychology Today article on communication as the foundation of successful open relationships
- Jealousy in Open Relationships - Explains how jealousy can be transformed into intimacy through vulnerable communication
- A scoping review of research on polyamory and consensual non-monogamy - Comprehensive review of 209 studies on communication and relationship negotiation in CNM relationships
